Homecoming
by MetaDash
Summary: Stuck in an adventureless rut, the bear and bird are given their chance to be with Nintendo's finest, reuniting with old friends and the faces they feel at home with. One-shot. Companion piece to Everyone Is Here and World of No Light.


**Homecoming**

Across the vast Isle o' Hags, within their house in Spiral Mountain….

"There is nothing _on_!"

Banjo the bear sat with a glum look on his face. His dearest companion, Kazooie the breegull had poked herself out of his backpack and was flipping through their television.

"C'mon Kazooie, you gotta pick _something."_

"It's all just garbage. Ads, ads….this is boring! When was the last time we had an adventure, Banjo?"

"Uh, let's see…." Banjo got up to check his trusted calendar. Everything seemed to be blank. The truth was, their lives had become dull and uninteresting. "Gosh, it's been a while. Maybe that L.O.G fellow has something for us."

"Are you crazy? That guy's totally nuts. He only cares about stuff that would make money, and we're NOT doing a mobile game. We have too much dignity for that."

"Well what do we do?" Banjo slumped back in the chair. "L.O.G technically owns our souls, and that's not much we can do without him signing off on it."

"Think! Surely one of our pals can get us of this jam."

This time Banjo opened up his address book. There was Bottles, Mumbo Jumbo, Humba Wumba, Jamjars, the Jinjo King, Boggy…. "What if they're all obsessed with cars again?"

"NO! No more cars!" Kazooie squawked. "I'd rather face that ugly witch again!"

"Grunty? Gosh I think I have her in this too…"

Frustrated, Kazooie flipped through the pages with her wing until she found something. A rather old entry, from the days before she and Banjo met.

"Conker! He can help us!"

"Uh, Kazooie…." Conker was normal when Banjo had first met him, but the squirrel had been through a _lot_ of things Banjo was afraid to get near. "He's….kinda busy."

"What about the rest of these sclups? Tiptup? Taj? T.T? _Bumper?_ When was the last time they did anything with their lives?"

"I haven't heard from any of these fellows in _years._" Banjo sighed. "Although….maybe we can try Diddy Kong. I remember him being the friendliest fellow out of the bunch."

"Give him a call then!"

Banjo reached for his telephone, but he suddenly found himself and Kazooie warped away…..

* * *

….into the chrome halls of L.O.G's domain. L.O.G was a godly robed figure with a flatscreen for a head. He stared neutrally as he always did at the bird and bear.

"Plotting something you two?"

"P-Please Mr. L.O.G, we're bored and just want to meet up with some old friends," said Banjo. "Let us call one."

"Are you this bored? Because I have a new idea involving Kinect-"  
"NO!" Kazooie shook her head wildly. "No gimmicks! We just want an honest adventure for once!"

"Hmmm….." Before L.O.G's eyes materialized an envelope. "For ages I've been holding onto this. And yet, I've never thought you two were worthy, despite your fame. Say there's a way for you to meet this….friend. How does it benefit me?"

"Uhhhh….Kazooie, think of something."

The bird replied: "More kids to buy Logboxes Ones!"

"Will you mention we have backwards compatibility?"

"Sure."

"Will you ALSO mention you can turn on your TV with your voice?"

"That's what a remote is f-"  
"We'll do it!" Banjo said, cutting off Kazooie's retort. "Now what does the envelope say?" Banjo took it when it floated down to his hand. A unusual symbol was the seal. "Gosh, what is this?"

He opened it up. He and Kazooie read through the letter carefully…..and their eyes were wide.

"H….How long have you had this?"

"It does not matter. Unless the hands can benefit me, I am not interested. But if you're willing to advertise…..?"

"OF COURSE!" they both said, eager to head to where the letter was describing.

* * *

"Well here we are."

Banjo and Kazooie were standing at a bus stop in the middle of nowhere, unfortunately mogged by tons of Logbox merchandise - T-shirts, hats, pens, light sabers, keychains, Logbox Live cards.

"Can't we ditch this garbage?"

"Sorry Kazooie, we promised L.O.G. Now where's the bus?"

As if on cue, it pulled up to the stop. It was a red bus with the same logo as on the letter, and for some reason they couldn't describe…..both had a sense of belonging to it.

"Well….get on, Banjo."

Once the two did, they saw that there was no driver; the bus was moving on its own. And the second he looked down, Banjo saw that all of their Logbox gear was gone.

"Guh-huh?! What happened?"

"Uhh….Banjo….."

Kazooie gestured to their reflection on the bus's window. They looked like what they had used in days past. Before L.O.G had claimed their souls. When they went on adventures all the time.

"Wow! We look like a million bucks!"

"Gosh, something's not right with this bus."

"Who cares?" Kazooie got out of the backpack and stretched her legs out. "It feels right, Banjo. We're really on an adventure, not selling junk to kids!"

The bus traveled along, seemingly crossing the very depths of time and space. It stopped somewhere to let a young black-haired figure on, trailed by a suspicious cat-looking thing.

"Alright Joker, let's be on our guard. We'll get the other Phantom Thieves to touch down once we arrive." Morgana looked around. "Huh?! Who are these two?"

"Banjo, that cat can talk."

"I'm not a cat!" Morgana spat. "What about YOU? Not every day a bear and a bird talk."

"Well we're just here for the ride. Sorry, but Halloween was like months ago. You two look ridiculous!" Kazooie looked at Joker. "You here to steal something? Cuz Banjo has my wallet."

"Hey! You don't even have money!"

"It's not you we're here to rob! The Phantom Thieves only target the corrupt!" Morgana said. "Joker got this strange invitation so we're trying to find where it leads."

"Well we're doing the same," Banjo said. "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Joker."

Surprisingly, the young man shook his hand. He was a quiet sort, but Banjo could sense the goodness in his masked eyes. Morgana offered no such courtesy to the bird.

"That's fine, cats like you should roll over and let us scratch your bellies."

"WHY YOU-" Joker had hold Morgana back. Then he heard a message from one of the other Phantom Thieves.

_"Joker, these two don't seem to have any Personas!"_

"Per-what?" Kazooie said. "That's weird. You normally have some girl talking in your ear like that?"

"You can hear Oracle?!"

"Er, yeah, isn't that thing on speaker?"

The bus stopped one more time. But this time…..four young heroes with swords stepped on. They all nodded at each other, then at Joker and Banjo.

"Who the heck are _these_ guys?" Kazooie sniped.

"You'd think _I'd_ know?" Morgana sniped back.

Eleven, Eldrick, Solo, and Eight showed their invitations.

"Golly we got those two!" Banjo and Joker showed theirs. "I wonder where it's taking us…."

* * *

It was nothing like the two had ever imagined. A gorgeous stadium surrounded by all sorts of flags, shops, and amenities. The bus finally stopped, and everyone got off.

"Whoa….."

"Banjo! Is that a floating hand?"

Master Hand floated over to them.

"Hello, everyone. Do you know why you're here?"

"Oh no, and it talks. Why does everything have to talk now? We didn't even do that all the time in our own games," Kazooie groaned.

"Don't be alarmed. You're here because you were chosen to be a part of Super Smash Bros., a collection of some of the greatest heroes…and villains!...chosen to fight!"

"What do we do then? Just fight people?" Kazooie seemed to be vocal enough that Joker and the Heroes were willing to let her speak for them.

"Well…..that's not ALL you can do. Eat, drink, swim in the pool, get a massage, all kind of fun stuff! We were locked in a bit of a crisis with everyone turning into dark monsters, yadda yadda, Kirby lead the charge to save everyone. But Banjo! Kazooie! I sent your invitation out years ago, why are you only here now?"

Both bear and bird looked sad.

"I'll show you all to your rooms, but you two need to come with me after."

* * *

"What do ya think Banjo? Does he know L.O.G?"

"Seems cut from the same cloth if you ask me. L.O.G was hiding the letters Master Hand sent us…."

The two were led through the walls. Seeing a bunch of new faces was certainly a shock to Banjo: he had no idea who the likes of Bayonetta, Corrin, Shulk, and Lucina were.

"Huh…..Kazooie, you got that same feeling?"

"No wonder why L.O.G is holding out on us! We've gone out of style, Banjo! No more fun mascots like us, it's all pretty boys with swords now!"  
"I think that last one was a _girl_, Kazooie."

Master Hand wagged a finger. If you're a hero, if you're a name to remember, it doesn't matter who or what you look like, Kazooie. What matters is that you're here now….to reunite with someone."

"James Bond?!"

"….what? No, just look!"

Banjo and Kazooie looked across the courtyard….and saw one familiar face. A waving, happy chimp with a red cap and a star shirt.

"D-Diddy Kong!" Both of them ran as fast as they could…..and were suddenly hugged tightly by Donkey Kong himself.

"DK! He's here too!"

Their spines nearly snapped when joined in the hug.

"And King ! Oh man….I missed these guys, Banjo!" Kazooie high-fived Diddy when he jumped up on DK's shoulder. "Argh…..insides getting crushed…."

"Alright, that's enough!" Master Hand broke them up. "Banjo. Kazooie. Please, introduce yourselves to other heroes of the same….feel. If you get what I mean?"

First it was Mario that shook their hands.

"Whoa! Mr. Mario! I've heard so much about you! Can I get an autograph?"

Then the blue wonder Sonic did the same.

"Wow! Banjo, it's Sonic, heard he's super fast!"

Then Pac-Man, a mascot with tons of history.

"P-P-Pac-Man?! Gosh….I've been a fan of you for years!"

Then it was the dog and duck making up the Duck Hunt duo.

"Banjo, look! It's discount me and you!"  
"Kazooie! She didn't mean that, Mr. Duck Hunt…"

Then Link, Hero of Hyrule.

"Hey, that Master Sword looks cool! Lemme see it!"  
"Gosh, where's your green?"

The more Smashers that came to congratulate them (in Ganondorf's case he just scoffed and looked away), the more Banjo-Kazooie felt at home. This was a long time coming. Ever since L.O.G, they thought their lives would be the same…..stagnant. Stuck in a rut.

"Excuse me, um….Mr. Master Hand, I think we need to say a few words."

"Hm? Of course."

Banjo and Kazooie made their way to the center stage. They looked over the 70+ faces of gaming…and and a powerful warmth came over them. Like they had always belonged.

"Um…..well thanks for having us, everyone. I don't much like fighting myself, but if it's for good sport, I'll be happy to join in. I can't wait to really get to know you all! Oh, and….congratulations to Mr. Joker and those Heroes over there." Banjo pointed at the other newcomers. "It's their day as much as it's ours!"

"And we'll see you all in the ring! We're kinda old school compared to some of you young'ins but we've been doing this adventuring thing for years!" Kazooie instantly saw a rival in the other bird - Falco. "We waiting on any other challengers?"

"Hmmm…..well we may see some down the road, but I can't help I've forgotten something…." Master Hand pondered.

* * *

Down in the dark dungeon-

"Banjo and Kazooie…..BANJO AND KAZOOIE?! IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ME! WE HAD A DEAL, L.O.G!"

One rejected challenger was seething. Crazy Hand had barely escaped with his (in)sanity intact, but this challenger had crushed all the other rejects. Now his hatred and anger had morphed his body into something truly terrifying…

"I'll get you, bear and bird…..YOU'RE JUST A RELIC OF THE PAST!"

Steve from Minecraft vowed his revenge.

* * *

"Naaaaaah, it's probably nothing," Kazooie said. "Banjo, let's check out that guy over there! I think he's 2D, that's pretty rad."

"Yeah that is! C'mon!"

But despite that, Banjo and Kazooie were truly at the home they had always missed.

**FIN**

* * *

**Ending notes: I HAD to write something for this. Banjo in Smash! Woo! How can they even top that? It's a 90s kid dream.**


End file.
